the other day I had a sort of epiphany and I shared it with some friends and they said I should write it on my blog.
I was sitting in one of those high up chairs specific to movie/tv sets and watching four really great actors perform a dance I had choreographed for them. I was watching them dance in person as well as on three small monitors in "video village" capturing the moment as documented by the three cameras that were running through their moves. Several guys were 'gripping' -- hanging and stabilizing lights and the art department was putting the finishing touches on the "Gitmo," "Casablanca," "Kids on TV," and "City Lights" sets. Nearby PAs were hammering out production schedules and milling around the "crafty" snacks. Everyone was even being paid for their talents...
And I realized, wow, maybe I am doing okay after all? I had been worried about how this would come out and whether it would be really professional and stellar or not... and I remembered back to my time working on Grey's Anatomy, during that first season before any of the episodes were aired and we even went on a two-week 'hiatus' (hopefully!) a month into starting production where the network was 're-tooling' the show... and I wondered if Shonda Rhimes-- the incredible creator of that show, felt the same way that I felt on Friday night. If she wondered if it was going to be good or not? If she cared? Or if she just had faith and patience and confidence?
After a great and very full weekend I can tell you I think it is going to turn out great. Three weekends in a row of 'living my dream' ... acting/directing/choreographing. Working at the career I would like to work at all week. But hey, two or three days to look forward to all week is something.
And next time I think I will keep the faith a little more throughout-- believing what you are working on is going to turn out great seems to help not only in fulfilling that hope but also in keeping you feeling peaceful and postive and patient throughout.